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This is how an angel dies
Mar. 26th, 2013 05:35 pmThere are many things Alex had to do that she didn't want to do; she'd had to pick up after her brothers and father; she'd had to tie Hal to a chair (okay that was sort of fun); she had to spend eternity wearing fucking fantastic knickers that no one would ever see. She would never go on a proper date again, never have sex again, never eat until she was sick, but the one thing that Alex had to do that she didn't want to do more than anything else was die.
She had to drink Hal and Tom's blood (there was another do not want right there) and she had to die. Yes, she'd had a choice, but it wasn't a good one. Just when she'd gotten used to an eternity with people who'd become her new family, she was going to sacrifice her unlife so that the world would continue, so that her brothers would grow up safe. More than a year as a ghost, and she still wasn't ready to let go.
Pain had come roaring back first, a soreness in her body that had taken a moment to identify, but she hadn't believed it until Tom had confirmed it, until Hal had seen his reflection.
Alex was human and her feelings about that were conflicted. There was joy, of course. She was human! She could change clothes and she could eat. She could have sex if she wanted to. She could dance and she could drink. She could live and yet, she'd come to terms with living a life in flux. She'd come to terms with never getting to do any of those things. She'd become comfortable without having to make decisions about her future because she wouldn't have a future. In one moment, one drink from a flask, she had a future. She had to make a decision. She was going to have to explain more than a year's absence to her brothers, to her father. She would have to explain to them that she wanted more from her life than them. She wanted more and then she would have to decide what the more was. Actually, she knew what the more was, but for the first time in a year, Alex had to figure out if she could have what she wanted.
Being a ghost had been easier, but being a human was going to be more fun.
She had to drink Hal and Tom's blood (there was another do not want right there) and she had to die. Yes, she'd had a choice, but it wasn't a good one. Just when she'd gotten used to an eternity with people who'd become her new family, she was going to sacrifice her unlife so that the world would continue, so that her brothers would grow up safe. More than a year as a ghost, and she still wasn't ready to let go.
Pain had come roaring back first, a soreness in her body that had taken a moment to identify, but she hadn't believed it until Tom had confirmed it, until Hal had seen his reflection.
Alex was human and her feelings about that were conflicted. There was joy, of course. She was human! She could change clothes and she could eat. She could have sex if she wanted to. She could dance and she could drink. She could live and yet, she'd come to terms with living a life in flux. She'd come to terms with never getting to do any of those things. She'd become comfortable without having to make decisions about her future because she wouldn't have a future. In one moment, one drink from a flask, she had a future. She had to make a decision. She was going to have to explain more than a year's absence to her brothers, to her father. She would have to explain to them that she wanted more from her life than them. She wanted more and then she would have to decide what the more was. Actually, she knew what the more was, but for the first time in a year, Alex had to figure out if she could have what she wanted.
Being a ghost had been easier, but being a human was going to be more fun.
